You enter the room.
Darkness lives uninhibited here. The door vanishes behind you. You don’t know why you are here but you know you can’t leave until you stare at what needs to be seen. You stare into the centre of the room, a blurring light is moving towards you with rapid and voluminous movements. You stay still. The light moves no further and neither do you. You look down at your feet and meet the nothingness of space. Your legs feel like heavy planks that falter and shake along each crack on the obscured cosmic floor, each step forward feels like fractured memories on the bottom of your toes.
You feel all of the memories you have tried to forget. They remain seeping into your nails bedding themselves behind each molecule and hair. You look down once again, feeling a wetness that puddles along your ankle and you see yourself in the early days of your life. You used to sneak away from the loud voices and reaching hands into the towering trees and forests you could escape into alone- the wet summer moss was a small clouds that allowed you to feel islanded and safe. The wetness along your ankle begins to wind itself into your blood- creating collisions of new reflections you cannot deny. You look down into the cracks that are pulling at your timelines and merging you with the reflection you spent so long running away from.
A long breath, feeds itself into the room obscuring your sight- it takes you a moment to understand that it was your own exhale. You stare back into the nothingness. The feeling of peculiarity that is raining on your feet is locked into time line and dimension in which you live- you take another step forward staring anywhere but straight ahead and above.
This method, will not keep you alive for long.
You close your eyes, scared to look at what lives inside. You try and guide yourself by sensation- there is nothing around to hurt you, only sensations that reveal you.
The blurring light moves closer, you stutter into past memories that guide you into your carefree days. Long days with bird songs and tweeting ribbons that twirled your back into elastic streams of movement. Your body finds the melody within the sharpness and the wet centre that is your heartbeat. You hop along the mosaic floor- that is a kaleidoscope of greys and black. Your vision locked behind your eyelids allows for you to imagine where you would like to be.
You stare at your dance partner, a reflection you have composed of your past. Made of the lies, denials and soft moments of love that you have felt. Your feet are the only things that betray you. You dance beyond the fuelling peculiarity of your toes and ankles and rest into the joy of your legs and chest. You give yourself completely to this moment. Swallowing your breath with each dripping tear.
The light fades.
A dark oak chair appears in the furthest corner of the room.
You change direction, as you begin to the feel the weight of the endless space around you.
You move with long strides that you hope will save you from the sensations that feel looming. Your breath deepens into grunts. You are a ball of combusting flames and you are lost in the heat of yourself. You feel the heat of the sun and the howling wind of the heat.
Your eyes are still stitched closed. Until you hear a scream, a chant, a cry for help. You see you’re the dark oak chair and moved towards it like an oasis.
The chair slowly becomes occupied.
You stare into the eyes of the only person you see. They are draped in a black cloak that swims into the space with a seamless disturbance. It is their face that lets you know that they are as foreign as you.
Their eyes are as vibrant as yellow tulips in a sea of sunshine- they draw you in like whirlpools. You stutter along the rest of their features. Their skin appears to be made up Himalayan Ivy. It winds past the dark cotton of their cloak and frames their body till their knees. Their lips are composed of blood roses that are as beautiful as Red Pine falling to dry ground. A violent speed that thumps drums and loves it way through space, shaking everything in its circumference.
You feel called forward.
You move closer.
The fractured glass under your toes smoothens into the reflection you longed for. You skip in delight, shining bright with the feeling of embodied union. You feel the sun on your back and you are swimming in the oasis of your dreams. Your imagination, has met you at the edge of their glory.
They surrounded by a garden of flowers. A Gentian Sage that floats into you eye and captures your heart like the smell of Blue Lace that is swarming your senses.
You move closer. Your skin itching to feel each petal, your breath longing to be cuddled against the green grass that is an inch away from your toes.
You are stilled by the sincerity of the moment. You feel the speed of time and slowness of your pace.
Your heart is racing.
Awe is reverential respect and it is building inside of you. You have never felt it with wonder always fear.
You feel the delicate forest growing in you.
You step closer.
You fall to the feet of the strange figure- landing in the smell of lavender and orange blossoms. You fall into the quiet heaven of your mind and thank paradise for being as scary as it is wonderful.