Categories
Poetry

We are Acceptance

My body is seen as poronrgraphic . 

My body is censored.  

My body is read as woman,

They will kill me for it. 

My body is read as black,

They will kill me for it. 

I am trans. 

They will kill me for it. 

I made of stories and hopes.

I am made of loving bones. 

I am made of truth,  

I am unknown to you. 

I am unknown to myself. 

I am prisms of light. 

I wear no disguise. 

I wear no shield. 

My armour is love.

It is how I heal.  

It is my home. 

It is my truth. 

In my body, 

I am bloom. 

I am fruit. 

I am new. 

Categories
Poetry

Forbidden Fruit

I like nothing- 

Other than you. 

 

Your tender skin-

Peeled into a crunch. 

 

Savouring love. 

 

Your flesh ingrained with delicious desire. 

 

Wetting my lips

Bending my neck, 

I bite. 

Your flavour sinks into my life, 

Seizing my mind, 

With your fragrant ties

You take me over-

I beg for nothing- 

Other than you- 

Your rebirth. 

Your fruit.  

 

 

 

Photography by Jon Sailor 

Categories
Poetry

Pride

Pride. 

I am not a child of pride.

Nothing to see.

 

I am not a child of pride.

Nothing to bleed.

 

I am not a child of pride.

Nothing to know.

 

I am not a child of pride.

Nothing to grow.

 

I place a seed in my hand,

Cocooning my head in the sand.

 

The wind pushes me away.

I fall into the tides.

Chasing the seed in the chaos of its wake.

 

I am not a child of pride.

No motion to follow.

No mountain to climb.

No hill to conquer. 

 

Time.

My mother laid me down-

                                        Taking my hand and tucking me tight.

                                            Uttering words that haunt me every night.

Do not worry child-

There are no monsters under your bed

No monsters that will chew your bones.

Only monsters that won’t accept no.

I am not a child of pride.

 

I am not a child,

You see.

 

I am a message, conceived.

I am a tradition, untold.

I am culture, with no home

 

Bloody hands,

sink into the ocean.

 

Shedding into hydrotropic weavings,

 

Sieving.

Dreaming. 

 

For the seed.

 

That held the togetherness

Of the land,

I wish to breathe.

 

Photography by Darius Iromlou

 

Categories
Confessions Poetry

Confession. No1

A look into love. You and me. Thoughts of a forgiving heart on the mend.

You violated me.

Peeled me into shreds.

 

Turning my roots, to branches.

 

 My skin found ways to breathe.

Sucking on your misery.

Pleasuring your body.

Left me naked.

Pulled me from the skin.

Pulled me from past sins.

I could see,

The beast within me,

The beast of you,

You feed.

You lie.

You chain.

The pain an excuse,

to call me other names.

 

I cower,

Afraid to look into your eyes

To afraid to see,

How much misery loves company.

 

I have been thinking a lot about fear and how it alters perception. What does it mean to live in fear? How does this connect and alter our connections to other persons and how does it limit our capacity to love? I feel that if you have a large amount of fear in your body, then it is impossible to love with the depth and thoughtfulness of space and becoming. Whatever you are afraid of, will lynch and suffocate the beings you love, whether consciously or unconsciously you are limited and tied to the beliefs that you hold inside your body. What do you hold inside your body? How does it feel to breathe as you?

What does it mean for you to love the persons you are in community with? Does fear dictate your heart- loss and grief- or hope and becoming? There is no shame or right answer in this but I feel it’s the knowledge of knowing that this is what you are giving. We are here to be in love with one another and we are here to imagine new possibilities of living. This may not be possible if you believe you can imagine what another person can be. Knowing the limit of your imagination is leaving space the infiniteness of the cosmos aka your loved ones.

This year has shown us what lives beyond our control. Everything and Everyone deserves the space to breathe. To imagine as ourselves; without apology- without conditions.  If you call them home and family, trust their vision to reveal a space that gives love rather than fear. But don’t forget yourself as you do. The compass, the recognition that lives inside you may pave new paths and light new ways.

 

They came in the shadows. Lurking behind every happy moment and corner. They came in the shadows haunting me- turning me into a time machine of their horror, of their pain.

 I am left once again without a name.

Begging for a space to breathe.

I bend till my knees bleed.

They tell me,

Please forgive me.

 

Confession No1. 

Categories
Poetry

I ATE MYSELF

I / 8/ SELF

(Read Aloud)

Voiced by Moonstar 

Written by E.V.E 

 

 

I am losing my love, the one I seek.

 

I am losing my love. The one I need.

 

The one I know.

The one I grow.

 

I am losing my love. The one that breathes.

 

I am losing my love- the one that says.

 

‘ It will be okay.’

‘ It will be fine.’

‘ You can fly.’

‘ You are beautiful inside.’

‘ Don’t listen to the horrors inside your M.I.N.D’

We will find beauty in a new way.

We will find beauty in a new truth.

The beauty lives in Y.O.U.

Y.O.U can’t lose this bloom.

Remember I am here with you. 

 

I am losing my way.

I have lost the door.

I have lost the key.

 

I am within the trees.

I am within the roots.

I am within you.

I can’t see.

Who will I be?

Who will survive?

This fading disguise.

 

I open my eyes,

to endless sky.

I see dreams.

The voices have disappeared

All that is left is M.E. 

 

A beast with a wondering disease.

I feed on vulnerability.

I feed on pain.

I feed on truth.

I feed on blame.

I feed on desire.

I feed on Y.O.U

I feed my roots,

With nourishing truths.

Nourishing my soil,

Nourishing my name,

I am a process of change.

 

Discarding. Decomposing. Disintegrating.

Evaporating.

Fading.

Changing.

 

I break through,

To see,

Nothing but M.E. 

 

Beyond my chains,

There is being with freedom in its veins

Beyond my chains,

There is a being with love at its core.

Beyond my chains,

I am no more.

 

I am the volcanic floor.

I am the tide.

I am the changing sky. 

 

I am being that has learnt to fly.

 

I am being that has learnt to fly.

 

I am alive.

 

 

 

Photography by ndidi iroh

 

 

Categories
Poetry

Alone.

You feel pleasant.

Pleasantly strange.

Foreign, in all the imaginable ways,

Isolation and regret

Lace your fingertips.

You tell me you like me like this.

Alone.

 

 

You like, alone.

You like to have me, to yourself.

How lucky I am.

How fortune, I am.

To have someone like you.

 

 

ii.

I like you.

The forest of you.

The danger you entail.

It smells,

Familiar.

Childish giggles stich my lips together.

Closed, frames create fences.

You prevail.

Climbing over me with your broad claws,

Ripping my form.

I have nothing left.

 

 

You ignore me.

 

 

I like it rough.

 

Fight more.

 

I am in submission.

Obey.

 

 

It’s a game.  

Winner takes all.

I am used to this call.

I thought she was different.

I thought she could see,

I wanted it to be her and me.  

I bow to her will,

Fear used,

Like a wheel.

Rolling me into

 

 

Weak.

 

 

I kiss her flesh.

Her meat is a smell, not a taste.

It reminds me of early days.

When I still sulked on her tit,

Feeding her mould.

She bends my bones,

She stands alone,

I know she is afraid,

To afraid to say,

She knows no other game.

Except pain.

 

 

 

Photography by Ari Richter

Categories
Confessions Poetry

Eve’s Love Letter

I am not the same as you.

I look, how you imagine me too.

Am I beautiful?

Do I hold onto your words?

Do I listen?

I cling, onto every second you speak.

I am desperate for the feeling.

             Everything you breathe,

                                     falls into majesty.

I am not the same as you.

I THINK I HAVE THE SAME FEELING OF PAIN.

Does anything else remain?

I think this is what it means to be okay.

They sat silently at the desk.

Taking my complaint.

My neighbour is loud.

My landlord makes advances.

My friends don’t listen.

My roommates ignore me.

My lover hates me.

My boss befriends me.

        They tell me it will be okay.

                  Today is my last day.

Do I look the same as you?

Perhaps I am desperate.

Perhaps I am a pitiful pain,

That lives a particular beauty each day.

Somehow I don’t see.

                    I look into the mirror.

                                            I see a beast.  

Perhaps being the same as you,

Is being me?

Would that make me free?

Or naïve.

Photography by ndidi iroh 

Categories
Poetry

Quebrar e a chance de Reconstruir

I came by the forest.

Finding stairs and long corridors,

That lived on a view.

No bodies,

Yet the sensation moved,

In different rooms.

.

Connection is intention,

As people are bloom.

An open door,

          With comfort as the fruit.

.

Unlike the tree, I am rooted in uncertainty.

My responsibility escapes, finding stones.

Creating mountains,

As bittersweet leaves, frolic away from lusty trees,

I grow my vegetables and fruits.

To find a harmony that is not artificially bloomed in societal truths,

Am I understandable to you? 

.

I want something I can taste,

Smell, touch and unravel.

I wonder,

       How you smile,

When you see, a mind,

               That breathes freely.

                              With no pattern to walk,

              It stalks. 

.

Driving a force,

Like splitting wood,

Each log a different call. 

Fuelling your form.

You find a purity that burns to keep you warm. 

.

I do not wish to change your heart,

You are yours.

I am mine.

I only advise,

Time.

So you can walk, a path,

You choose, with each moment

You produce.

Categories
Poetry

Three words

You built a cage,

A safe.

A collection of broken pieces

I desired to seek.

    I treasured,

A pleasure.

That was never intended,

     for thee.

You amused,  

.

A fantasy.  

.

       Seeps into a vivid dream

A sickness,

     only you could remedy.

.

I want to please.

.

    I lay down,

     Take me.

.

    Your love bleeds.

            I hold the hardness like smoke in my lungs.

.

    Your past excrements are secrets,

    Tightly wrapped. 

.

 A dancing hollowness,

 Configures, my wings

     Beyond the cage

I helped you make.

In exhalation

I play,

   With the memory you used to take

.

      Our love,

               the bitter taste of chains and frames

.

No lock,

    No key,

Simply the possibility, you were the one;

  I would need. 

.

How foolish I was to believe,

   You were anything but a hollow beak,

            I had to feed.

Photography by ndidi iroh

Categories
Poetry

Fortitudes of Woman

Fortitudes of Woman

I am grander than you know

Larger than you assume

I am humble, but you have underestimated this too.

I am quite, not because, I have no words

But what I need to say, cannot be spoken,

I have tried.

But my passion was seen as weakness

My nobility as stuckupness

I have been misunderstood

But I do not blame you

What are you to know;

That my power lies in what you cannot control

Yet try to mould.

Try and bondage me

You begin with my feet

Paint my eyes,

Numb my mind

Buy your beauty here,

It is free

Just give me your sanctity

Give me the reality; that tells you that you will be pleased.

.

Listen to me,

I am MAN

HU-MAN

You are WO-man

You are ME

Made from my ribs,

I allow you to live

In pretty gowns

Pretty in Pink

Pretty for you

Cover yourself, I may take you.

Have you whole

Please myself

Sucking on your nectar

Digging into your cosmic well

Thrusting agonies of my own personal tale.

Until you let go

Until the dark space entails

That what exists is this

Not you.

Although I come through the portal you hold between your being

I tell you to kneel

Kneel to me WO-MAN

Swallow me whole,

As I have swallowed you.

.

You are a rhythm I am trying to tune

Your freedom lies in what I place in front of you

Choose wisely,

You have a knife to cut

A paint to brush

A pen to write

And a dress to untie 

Choose wisely.

The prior three are also for me,

It is only the dress you truly own.

.

I dawned my best attire

Wrote myself into a slumber

Painted myself a masterpiece and cut myself a new door

I know your options but I want more,

I want you

To know my truth

Life is for the living

Woman or Man I stand to know

That the weakness you perceive,

Is only my growth

It was my silence that allowed you to believe, that the shadow you bespoke was an item I wished to retain

I stepped out from under your shadow

From under your gaze

The one who told me, I was second place.

I entered a blurry haze, a space with frequencies and opening gates

I found the moon,

Darkness swoons.

It is she who sets me ablaze

To the knowledge that was forbidden

That laid hidden

That I am the same as you.

.

You cannot tame, what is unafraid of your minute game

I do not need to believe your truth,

Masculine and feminine exists within the source

It is that which calls me home

That gives me the tools to inherit my throne,

Take my body if you will

But my mind is a kaleidoscope you can never unwind or unsee

The magnitudes of the spectrum is what sets me free

It is also because of this, you wish to chain me

With white ribbons of silk,

Your weakness is your simplicity,

Mine is my infinity

Sometimes it is hard to see

Especially when blind-folded and moulded to believe

Your penis is my goal

Your pleasure my aim

My no and my murmurs fall on death ears

And I abide to your come here.

I watch myself disappear

I see myself swallowed by the bed

Hear all the words that cannot be said

My whimpers forever in my head

I pick up my clothes

I walk to the door,

My virginity gone,

My understanding- on hold.  

My womanhood- on the way.

I let the rain cleanse me

Watch it wipe me away

Dance out my aches

The pain stays

I create with it

When I find my mind

When I find you

The eternal love of life and form

That tells me these words

That gives me this strength

To say,

Although you took my body,

You did not leave me dead

You made me stronger instead.

You made me realise that my power and control

Lies in knowing I am whole

That I home, that I am true

Paradoxical in name,

My reality-my perception lies in what you can not claim.

WO-MAN….  WO-MAN….  WO-MAN…. 

What do you hear?

What do you see?

I hear the power of infinity

I see beauty

I see you and me

Staying silent will not set us free

Staying silent only allows our creativity to stay in the make-believe

Create with me

Create with us

The power of WO-MAN

Is the power of life

Stand tall

This is our fight

For without me there would be none of your kind

I am not blind,

I can see

The power of us together

Is power of better.

This piece is a collaboration with aNother moNKey

Categories
Poetry

A Fruitful Disease

For L.

.

I melt.

Forming,

 A motion that is as fluid as it cellular

Tender in moments of exterior fractures,

Density spirals create collisions till arrival.

.

I abide to a form that hold no disguise

I disintegrate. Inside.

Losing self,

Moulds break.

.

Held to entail my frail wells

I become apt in my softness

I become bold.

As notions dissolve

I unfold,

Dispersing to erupt a ceremonious love

That blooms once I understand the complexity of my youth.

Reality is sincere.

Creating fantasies of cosmic parallelity.

I disperse.

.

A figment of possibility,

Is my sanctity

I change to see

That I am as malleable as my beliefs.

As truthful as what cannot be seen.

.

Peculiar feelings are conceived,

When my form is like the sea.

Changing with every gush, of the breeze,

Every tide, a root within me.

.

What is true?

What exists between the old and the new?

A thread .

A souring kiss grounds me to exist.

.

.

Remembering that like chocolate,

I can be as bitter as I am sweet

This is the memory of what it is to be,

A form like me.  

Categories
Poetry

Smiles Guaranteed

A taste. A flavour.

A passing glint,

Complexity mingles

The pleasure, the desperation,

Tingles.

 

You appoint the giver of youth.

You need, the delight,

Its momentary flight,

Over to soon.

Nirvana in taste, marvellous trice,

The giggles ripple, plentiful,

In truth.

 

Beauty leaves.

Too hungry, you consume.

 

The cracklings of bones,

 You moan.

Its ambiguity is its true shape-

Held, but never in place,

It desires. It wants.  

To be moved, with licks, of willed freedom.

It rolls to its inevitable end.

Temporality is true clarity.

Hysteria and folly, in the summers haze,

The winter’s pleasure and a spring treat,

It moves quickly,

I forget my place, as ice cream rolls down my fingers and I lick it away.

Art work by @lumchen